I almost lost myself…
Rationale strung in knots; sentiments tempted to tear. Sight opposed belief. Crippling brokenness overwhelmed. Nihilism overtook. With clenched fists held high, flailing in
the air, “How could this happen to me?!”
I sat destitute with Job beside me. His arms were raw from boiled flesh. He was alone and rejected. His eyes glazed over. A great man laid to waste. How did he come to ruin? What evil did he do that wrought him such
suffering? Oh God how your retribution
breaks us…
Across us sat Asaph and Jeremiah, pens in hand, writing
passionately on parchment. Their eyes
were full of tears, faces flush with resentment and anger. Their rags of poverty hung off their limbs. Are they not His people? Do they not deserve better? Oh God how you disappoint us…
David was there, a king with torn garments and seated on
dust. How low he’s become! Promised the world and brought to ruin. His face was anxious in vigilance, watchful
with fear. Does not God have good plans
for his life? Yet he lives in
caves. Oh God your plans ruin us…
Another figure sat there too, amongst the multitude of sun-scorched
faces and broken lives. He sat in the
midst of the least, the outcast, the rejected, the impoverished, the
disappointed and the lonely. He was with
the broken. He sat in the midst of death
itself. I didn’t see him at first
because he wasn’t much to look at. I
noticed his back… bleeding. Exploded flesh
undressed. His side was torn. His body damaged. I gazed harder and saw his feet, blood
stained. And then I saw his hands… His
beautiful Hands, pierced through.
We gathered together that evening, Job, Asaph, Jeremiah,
David, and the throng together. We ate a
meal together. They called it the meal
of remembrance. It wasn’t fancy. It was of bread and wine. We ate the torn bread. We drank the poured out cup. We remembered.
And again I saw His Hands…
And I understood.
This is beautiful and moving. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDeep and thought provoking... inspiring
ReplyDeleteWow. You are a very talented writer Tim! I've heard it said that the heart is pierced one of two ways: Beauty and pain. You display both with vivid imagery painted by words. I definitely also enjoy the newsletters you and Joanna send out. You both have great perspective regarding life as it relates to the Word of God. Your life pain, is creating a beautiful mosaic of experience and this seed is growing into a healthy maturity as you continue to fix your eyes on Christ. Your dross is lost in the fire, proving you both to be built of material for noble purposes and equipped to do every good work. Christ has big plans for you both, and I'm confident He will see that through to completion.
ReplyDeleteBless you both,
Josh Killingsworth
http://honestwriter.blogspot.com